Whew! That was a long break.

Well, you ever wonder "will I ever get it right"?  I do.  Constantly.  All the time.  And yet, it seems I never feel like I do.

I started this blog as a way for me to jot down my thoughts, feeling, impressions, etc. so I could better understand myself & my world.  But of course, like so many other things in my life, there was no follow-through, no sticking to it...just a valiant attempt & then I simply stopped.  Why?  What it is about me that makes me not complete?  What is it about life that I fear?

I'm not stupid...far, far from it.  I'm not weak, just look at the life I have lead.  But why can't I complete tasks?  Why don't I push through the daily crap & work to an end?  What is it about me that allows me to give up?  Because that is what I do...give up.  And then when life doesn't go the way I want it to, I'm hurt, angry, sad, disappointed & get the feeling like: "no one likes me, I'm worthless & I deserve all the crap I'm served."  That written down seems very, very sad.

So, let's see if this blog will serve me the way I want it to...as a diary, a place for my thoughts & feelings.  A place for me to figure out who I am & where I am going.

As that song by Aaliyah says: "If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off & try again...try again."  So, I shall. I will try again.